Living within a society is a psychological, biological, and economic necessity for human beings. The ability to sustain one’s existence in an honorable, secure, and peaceful manner largely depends on one’s interactions with others. This, in turn, requires adhering to certain principles in communication and engagement with people. These principles, which are essential for coexistence, are referred to as adab al-mu‘asharat, meaning the rules of courtesy. Also expressed through concepts such as etiquette, decorum, and custom, these rules are fundamental moral principles that ensure healthy communication between individuals, strengthen human relationships and contribute to social harmony.
Courtesy means having good character and being selfless, prioritizing the needs of one’s brother over one’s own. It is about valuing others without seeking to elevate oneself and approaching everyone with respect, understanding, and tolerance. It involves avoiding offensive, hurtful, or harmful words, attitudes, and behaviors while offering healing words to wounded hearts. Courtesy is doing good without expecting anything in return, reviving hearts without seeking personal gain. It means embodying love, respect, compassion, and mercy in human relationships; choosing the most beautiful words and the most refined actions; and being kind, gentle, and dignified in demeanor. At the same time, courtesy requires an awareness of boundaries. It is recognizing that every individual’s feelings, thoughts, and perspectives hold value in their own right. In this respect, courtesy is the distinguishing mark of a Muslim’s character and a reflection of Islamic dignity in social life.
The Holy Qur’an, which defines a person’s responsibilities toward Allah, oneself, and society, contains numerous verses across various chapters that set the standards for courtesy and ethical communication. In particular, Surah al-Hujurat is a surah dedicated entirely to courtesy and social etiquette, calling people to morality. In this surah, Allah the Almighty commands believers to show respect to Him and His Messenger, to be cautious regarding unverified information, and to uphold the rights of brotherhood. It warns against attitudes and behaviors that corrupt hearts, disrupt societal harmony, and undermine the possibility of coexistence, such as mocking others, assigning offensive nicknames, harboring suspicion, engaging in backbiting, and prying into people’s private matters. Furthermore, the Qur’an emphasizes the importance of kindness, valuing friendships, expressing gratitude for acts of goodness, refraining from reminding others of one’s favors, wishing well for others, and being generous, charitable, and humble. These qualities are regarded as essential for establishing a livable and harmonious society. The standards of courtesy that the Qur’an, as the fundamental source of Islam and our guide to life, teaches, encourages, and promotes are undoubtedly universal principles that facilitate coexistence and lead to happiness in both this world and the hereafter.
We witness the embodiment and pinnacle of these virtues in the life of the Messenger of Allah. His life stands as a timeless symbol of Islamic morality and etiquette, offering the most exemplary model of courtesy and grace. He approached not only humans but all living beings and even the entire creation with a deep sense of trust and responsibility, adopting a constructive and positive manner in all his actions. Never was he harsh, rude, exclusionary, or accusatory toward anyone, nor did he ever treat others unjustly. From his family life to educational settings, from commercial dealings to governance, he remained the greatest example of courtesy, elegance, and noble character in every aspect of life. Allah the Almighty affirms this truth in the Qur’an with His divine proclamation: “And you are truly (a man) of outstanding character.” (Qalam, 68:4) This verse not only praises the character of the Prophet but also presents him as the finest example for all of humanity to follow.
The ultimate source of the Messenger of Allah’s morals, the foundation that refined his conduct and shaped his relationships, was undoubtedly the Holy Qur’an. His constant smile, compassion, and humility toward those around him were a reflection of Qur’anic ethics. His refusal to accuse or disparage anyone, his unwillingness to shame or humiliate others, and his avoidance of condemnation or scorn were all outcomes of the divine training he received through revelation. With his noble presence that instilled trust and his delicate soul, his entire life was essentially a living embodiment of the Qur’an. Through his courtesy and grace, he was like a radiant lamp spreading light to those around him, and with his dignity and moral excellence, he served as a guiding compass, directing people toward goodness and beauty.
Despite the harshness, rigidity, and harsh manners of the society of the Age of Ignorance, our beloved Prophet never compromised his courtesy, as it was a divine gift from Allah. Due to this, he left a profound impact on those around him in a short period, winning hearts through his words, demeanor, and actions. With his graceful conduct, he guided people away from hatred, enmity, and hostility, leading them toward an atmosphere of brotherhood, compassion, and love. Through this, he built a virtuous society where individuals were bound together by mercy, and from this society, he established a civilization that would serve as an example for the entire world. Undoubtedly, the most crucial factor that paved the way for this great transformation was the Prophet’s unparalleled courtesy, elegance, compassion, and mercy, which encompassed not only people but all living beings. Indeed, Allah the Almighty highlights this truth in the Qur’an: “It is out of Allah’s mercy that you (O Prophet) have been lenient with them. Had you been cruel or hard-hearted, they would have certainly abandoned you…” (Al-i ‘Imran, 3:159).
Today, in a world where the pursuit of excess, greed for worldly possessions, arrogance, and envy have turned life into a battleground of competition and oppression, sweeping people into its vortex like a storm, true peace can only be attained by embracing the ethics of courtesy exemplified by the Messenger of Allah. As modern lifestyles drive individuals toward isolation, and as loneliness leads to spiritual distress, hearts can once again find tranquility by following the guidance of the Noble Messenger.
