Anas, who came to the Prophet (saw) with his mother (Bukhari, Da’awat, 47; M6375, Muslim, Fadha’il al-Sahaba, 142) was perhaps the most meaningful gift presented to our Prophet (saw) by the Medina Muslims. Trusting in her maternal instincts, Umm Sulaym (ra) must have realized that a little assistant could be a great help to the Prophet (saw) in this new city. When she gave her son in service to the Prophet (saw), she actually was entrusting him to be brought up by the Prophet (saw). To have such a smart and agile child serving him with all his heart was pleasing to the Prophet (saw), and he always kept Anas next to him, even under the most difficult conditions. By then the Prophet’s children were grown up and his grandchildren were not yet born. Therefore, from Anas’ childhood to his adolescence, the Messenger of Mercy was interested in his education for the last ten years in Medina before his death. Our Prophet was not content to spend time only with Anas in the mosque or in his house, but he also enjoyed visiting Anas’ relatives. There he ate, took an afternoon nap, and led prayers with the household congregation. (Bukhari, Salat, 20; D2490, Abu Dawud, Jihad, 9) Anas’ morals were shaped by this love and sincerity. “No child is born except in al-Fitra (a natural state, i.e., Islam) and then his parents make him Jewish, Christian, or Magian,” (Bukhari, Tafsir (al-Rum), 2; M6755, Muslim, Qadar, 22) said the Prophet (saw). With these words, our Prophet (saw) emphasized that children, regardless of their race, color, and gender, had a natural tendency to accept what was good and to embrace what was beautiful. At the same time, he highlighted the inherent readiness of the structure for education. In fact, parents, valuing their children and wanting to educate them in the best way, first need to bear in mind one truth. Although the child is completely dependent upon their parents, their protection and discipline come not from the parents but from Allah (swt). In other words, the parents are not the owners but the custodians of their children. They are in charge of taking good care of them and properly raising them for this life. This is because the child is a trust, the parents do not have the right to restrict what is desired for the child. When they feed them, educate them, reward or punish them, in short, when they raise them and shape their personality, they are obliged to act in accordance with Allah’s approval. This is because, when the time comes, the true owner of the trust will ask them how they cared for it, what they provided for their children, and what they withheld from them.
The first stage of education is to acknowledge the existence of the child and show them the respect they deserve as a human being. Without respecting and valuing a student as an individual, an educator cannot possibly be successful. One can immediately see that the Prophet (saw) treated children as “little adults” in his communications with them. Those children whose ideas are valued, whose feelings are respected, and whose needs are met can develop healthy relationships with their parents, and it is clear that efforts spent on education have positive results. The fact that the Prophet (saw) greeted them (Muslim, Salam, 14), asked about their health (Bukhari, Adab, 81), and wanted to learn their preferences (Tirmidhi, Ahkam, 21), meant that he accepted them as equals. Inviting a Jewish child to Islam as if he were an adult (Bukhari, Marda, 11), and permitting children to pledge loyalty to him (Muslim, Adab, 25), clearly show that the Prophet (saw) valued children, who were the surety of the future. Also, the fact that the Prophet (saw) made special prayers for children (Bukhari, Jihad, 188; M6376, Muslim, Fadhai’l, 143) told them secrets (Muslim, Fadha’il, 68; M6379, Muslim, Fadha’il, 146), and offered them refreshments (Muslim, Ashribah, 127; M3335, Muslim, Hajj, 474) shows how much he cared about education based on friendship. The way to be effective in winning a child’s heart comes from being close to them by saying you love them, by hugging and kissing them, and by playing with them. The Messenger of Allah (saw), trying to mold a child but not hurt them during training, created a concept of training that was never without compassion. Such an attitude, which was astonishing to the people of those days, made history by way of this hadith: “Whoever does not show mercy to our children and does not show respect to our elders is not from us.” (Tirmidhi, Birr, 15) To al-Aqra’ b. Habis, who couldn’t hide his surprise when he saw the Prophet (saw) kissing his grandson, the Prophet (saw) said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.” (Bukhari, Adab, 18; M6028, Muslim, Fadha’il, 65) The Qur’an’s description of parents who show compassion for their children as an example to humanity is significant in the creation of a desirable parental model. The Prophet Yaqub, even though his children had committed a great offense by throwing their brother in a well, forgave his children and asked forgiveness for them from Allah, (Yusuf, 12:97-98) and still offered good advice to them on his deathbed (Baqarah, 2:132-133). Verses containing Luqman’s advice to his son begin with the most tender and heartfelt words: “My dear child!” (Luqman, 31:13, 16-19) In like manner, Prophet Ibrahim and the gentle demeanor he showed his son, Ishmael, are mentioned in the Holy Qur’an. (Saffat, 37:102) When facing death during the great flood, Noah said to his son, who did not accept his father’s prophethood, “Come aboard with us, my dear son. Do not stay with the disbelievers.” (Hud, 11:42) All of these examples are quite striking in showing that fathers, who are usually imagined as authority figures, are asked to be compassionate and merciful to their children. The Prophet (saw) adopted a patient and violence-free method of educating children and never resorted to violence against his helpers (Muslim, Fadha’il, 79). The value of such an attitude can be better appreciated when considering that he lived in a society in which violence was common. It is very important for an educator not to belittle the one being educated, and try to gain their respect and trust. When considered from this point of view, it can be seen that the Prophet’s method of teaching was based not on a show of strength and being unchallenged, but on advice and examples. It must not be forgotten that children learn by example rather than through orders and admonitions. Children, although they are living today, in fact, belong more to the future than to the present. Efforts made on their behalf are to educate the people of tomorrow, that is to say, to give shape to future society. By saying, “Your children have rights over you,” (Muslim, Siyam, 183) the Prophet (saw) warned parents to surrender completely to their children and indicated that it is the principal right of children to get a good education. The cultural and social development of children, their physical and mental education, and their moral and religious upbringing begin in the lap of the mother and are provided in the home of the father. Parents striving to have righteous children must always remember the Prophet’s advice: “There is nothing more valuable that parents can give their child than a good training.” (Tirmidhi, Birr, 33; HM16830, Ibn Hanbal, IV, 77)
